carrot

Threat or Bribery

March 22, 2011, 0 Comments

Recently we have fallen into the trap of “Threat” parenting. It looks like this, “If you don’t sleep now, I’m going to send you out!” This method is behaviouristic in nature. It is however contrary to the sowing and reaping principle in the Bible. Ps Tedd Tripp quoted in his book, Instructing a child’s heart under the topic ‘Rewards/Punishments of Behaviourism’ of which goals are often driven by consequences as an external attempt to change behaviour – what will appeal to the child enough to be a motivator or sting enough to be a deterrent. Popular behaviourist tactics such as…

Managing the Emotions

December 16, 2010, 0 Comments

About two weeks ago, my elder son, KB had the opportunity to learn to manage his sadness. He felt really sad that he was ill and was unable to drink milk. He had his bout of stomach flu and was recovering slowly. In a fit of frustration and being (extremely) upset, he pulled off the entire blanket cover on our sofa and sent the whole pile of laundry, tumbling. Here is the classic case of choosing between looking at the external (the mess) or the heart of a child (what motivates him to act the way he did). Although, at…

Melt-downs

July 14, 2010, 0 Comments

Yesterday, I brought my boys toIKEA. At a little play area inside the cafe, a familiar sentence caught my attention. I turned around to see a little girl who said, “I don’t want other people!” I had to smile and look towards the little girl’s mother. I wanted to get this in to confirm my suspicion. “Is she three?” My 3-yr old has fully entered the big ego-centric phase. A good thing to know he is capable of doing more but cognitively still immature. The scenario is such that he would suddenly developed a liking for a certain style of…