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Who doesn’t want resilient kids?

March 26, 2016, 0 Comments

    “The greatest insurance policy parents can “buy” to ensure their children grow up to be healthy and resilient is to forge and maintain strong emotional connections.”  This single parenting adage seems to be a non-brainer and is touted in almost all parenting books. Yet, in Singapore, many are seen over scheduling our children for various activities. On weekdays, children attend school, then it is tuition and endless homework. On weekends we rush our children from one enrichment to another. All for good reasons to give our children a well-rounded education. My primary level children are getting busier these…

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Whatever you do, keep your feet on the ground

May 14, 2013, 1 Comment

 Looking at the boys, I can’t help but to re-live my childhood. Parenting forces us to look at the other side of the mirror. Like a walk back into our own history, like it or not. We can choose to take a chance to make a wrong right, or ignore it and walk away. In this journey, we too discover healing for our own hearts. It is often mysterious. Of emotional management, we started to talk about appropriating expressions. We have a plush wine coloured chair set out in the living room. A CD player at one corner and a…

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Starting over

February 26, 2013, 5 Comments

I am reminded that when God chooses a King, he looks for the heart. (1 Samuel 16) That is one of the reason where character training is so important. When a child goes into a store and is hungry, aptitude tells him he needs to get a snack bar or a sandwich, attitude will tell him he needs to pay for it. Why are so many high level executives caught in corruption and embezzlement? They are the ones who are taking home a 5-figure salary but somewhere, somehow there seems to be an opportunity to take home even more without…

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Outlasting a 3 yr old

March 7, 2012, 13 Comments

  One of the things about being a parent is that we would like to have our kids obey and do what we tell them, especially for young toddlers. They are way to young to be wise in their own eyes. For example, they can’t tell you that they’re really tired because you know all they wanted was to play or that being thirsty is just another way to get down from their bed and away from their nap time. Today my 3 year old and I just about have a tug-of-who-can-outlast-who session. I have learnt that a ‘battle’ is…

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Threat or Bribery

March 22, 2011, 0 Comments

Recently we have fallen into the trap of “Threat” parenting. It looks like this, “If you don’t sleep now, I’m going to send you out!” This method is behaviouristic in nature. It is however contrary to the sowing and reaping principle in the Bible. Ps Tedd Tripp quoted in his book, Instructing a child’s heart under the topic ‘Rewards/Punishments of Behaviourism’ of which goals are often driven by consequences as an external attempt to change behaviour – what will appeal to the child enough to be a motivator or sting enough to be a deterrent. Popular behaviourist tactics such as…

Managing the Emotions

December 16, 2010, 0 Comments

About two weeks ago, my elder son, KB had the opportunity to learn to manage his sadness. He felt really sad that he was ill and was unable to drink milk. He had his bout of stomach flu and was recovering slowly. In a fit of frustration and being (extremely) upset, he pulled off the entire blanket cover on our sofa and sent the whole pile of laundry, tumbling. Here is the classic case of choosing between looking at the external (the mess) or the heart of a child (what motivates him to act the way he did). Although, at…

Melt-downs

July 14, 2010, 0 Comments

Yesterday, I brought my boys toIKEA. At a little play area inside the cafe, a familiar sentence caught my attention. I turned around to see a little girl who said, “I don’t want other people!” I had to smile and look towards the little girl’s mother. I wanted to get this in to confirm my suspicion. “Is she three?” My 3-yr old has fully entered the big ego-centric phase. A good thing to know he is capable of doing more but cognitively still immature. The scenario is such that he would suddenly developed a liking for a certain style of…