Say no to all things that break up families

October 25, 2013, 0 Comments

By now, everyone knows who is Ashley Madison.

No, she is not the girl with the innocent girl-next-door look. She is the sinister company that will attempt to tear down the very fabric of the nation.

My husband and I are married for nine years. We sashayed through the first 4 years like two lovers sitting on the crescent moon. Tumbled into the next 2 years and barely made it pass the seven year itch. We fight and make up every few days, swept a hundred things under the carpet, and put sex on hold for a few months more at one go. Finance, parenting, personality clashes, we have gone back and forth about these things a thousand times.  

In marriage, there are many troubles. The Bible can’t have said it better until we lived it and tasted it. Then Ashley Madison had to come in and mess things up even more.

The company professes to offer infidelity to save marriages. It is like saying, go light up a tree in the wild and try not to burn down the forest.  It is telling fatigue, exhausted, disappointed spouses to play with fire. They are wolves in sheepskin.

Their membership package is tempting. Women signs up for free. Men pays a certain sum. It worked in Hong Kong – A busy, cosmopolitan, mainstream country. It worked in Japan despite its alluring brothels, pubs, geisha scene and it is trying to set foot in Singapore.

Say no.

Marriage is not a project. Marriage is life. We do not make up a lack of sex by ‘getting sex’ somewhere else. Their articles talks about drawing the line between emotional intimacy and an affair.  Sex is not washing hands. Sex binds a person to another body, soul and spirit. It is the deepest level of intimacy designed and reserved for one and only one person – our spouse. Sexual intimacy is designed to ‘glue’ two person together, a.k.a enhance marital unity. You may get out of the one time high, but you will never get out unscathed.  Remember no condom is foolproof. Most sexually transmitted diseases have no cure, some has no symptoms.  

It teaches you how to cheat without getting caught. What they don’t tell you is that even though you are not caught, your guilty conscious will creep up on you and render you sleepless every single night.  Sexual affair is also addictive. It releases a dopamine (feel good chemical) which makes a person want to go back for more. It’s the same with booze and dope except that with sexual intimacy body, soul and spirit is involved. Any addiction however destroys lives, yours and others. If you cannot resist going to Ashley Madison, what makes you think you would stop at one encounter?

I never understood why schools teaches students to practise safe sex. Why not practise safe dating? Why not talk about the keeping the marriage bed pure? Isn’t practising safe sex the same as playing with fire?

What are affair partners looking to fulfill that their spouses cannot? Why are they even looking out? We are all looking and looking and looking at the wrong places. Keep our eyes away from pornography and ours hearts in check.  Run away from temptations. Flee.

The place to start looking is inside our marriages, inside our hearts. Intentionally pencil in TIME.

Time to date every week without the kids

Time to plan for surprises

Time to research for fun & novelty activities to together

Time to be spontaneous

Time to say “I love you” in 101 ways

Time to make love, not war

Above all, seek help to forgive, heal and be made whole. Put the magic back into the marriage.

Easier said than done? Probably. Especially when we are all so time-starved and exhausted from slave-driver boss (ourselves?) who works us till late into the nights.  

Then say no.

Say “No!” to over-time

Say “No!” to child-centric parenting

Say “No!” to unreasonable demands

Say no to ALL things that break up your family

Say “No!” to Ashley Madison.

Go  Block Ashley Madison from entering Singapore.

Jesus says in Matthew 11: 28-30 “28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”


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