When We Apologise to our Kids

July 18, 2010, 0 Comments

We make mistakes. None of us walk with unconditional love and clean hearts. After we have met God, things begin to change. Then we want to meet God again and again. That’s the power of grace.

Parenting is the same. We muck-up frequently. Sometimes we would have lost our temper on the most trivial things. Sometimes we over-react.

The worst thing is to have our over-reactions or foolishness hurt the little ones. We have our fair share. What do we do?

I have realised that children wants to obey their parents. They have an innate sense of wanting to please us. After a discipline session, a child that runs to us and want to be held or hug shows tremendous need to be accepted and love. Its their way of confirming that even though they have done something wrong and are ready to change, that we still love them. Of course we all do, don’t we? That’s a grace moment from the parents to the child.

The parallel of God’s love and parents’ love is unmistakable. Yet, because we are fallen, we make mistakes unlike God. I have learnt that when we over-react, we can cause hurt, misunderstanding or embarresment to a kid. A child reacts by crying or anger and the scene can be explosive.

We learnt that we should remove ourselves and the child away from the scene to cool down, by redirecting our attention to something else for the moment. As soon as we get the opportunity, we should apologise to the kid. We say “I’m sorry, I over-reacted and cause you to be embarress can you forgive mummy/daddy”. “Can you give ne a hug?” That’s a grace moment from the child to the parents.

Granted, it could be something that what the child was doing was wrong or childish, but when our less than perfect response draw him furthur from what is right, we apologise.

When we apologise, we are saying we are wrong and we are brave enough to confess. When we apologise, we are saying; we are not perfect, we are not hypocrites, we want to let you model true repentance and humility.

Apology is a powerful thing that deals with grace in a way that no words can teach. Kids model behaviours. The best way to teach humility is to be humble ourselves.

Leave a Reply